It should feel weird.

When I was learning these ideas about our nervous system dysregulation it was very difficult for me to absorb. The density of the material was one factor. The other factor was that what I was learning directly contradicted a fundamental belief.

I had previously believed that our self-preservation worked in such a way that it would feel good when we were doing healthy things. That there would be an internal reinforcer giving us positive feedback when we were on the right path. A metaphorical breadcrumb trail if you will. I’m not saying that was a logical belief, but it was something that I believed strongly.

How else are you supposed to know if you’re on the right path? Don’t even get me started on universal education on Polyvagal theory…but in lieu of that..how can we tell if we are healthy?

Our mainstream understanding is that if something is right for us, it will feel right. But there are so many examples of that not being true. We can literally damage our ability to feel right about healthy things. Dr. Vassilia's quote helped immensely with trying to wrap my head around this.

When you’re not used to being confident, confidence feels like arrogance.

When you’re used to being passive, assertiveness feels like aggression

When you’re not used to getting your needs met, prioritizing yourself feels selfish.

Your comfort zone is not a good benchmark.

YOUR COMFORT ZONE IS NOT A GOOD BENCHMARK! Yes, it is what our body craves and naturally gravitates towards. The issue of nervous system disruption is that your nervous system got jacked from being used incorrectly (not because of your concious choice btw). So of course what feels ‘good’ to it will not be good for you!

It makes sense when you say it like that right? So we need a new way of being able to identify healthy behavior. Maybe we should start saying, if it feels weird, you’re on the right path. It should feel weird.