Adaptive

I’ve had so many versions of my life in my head. In one, I am a pure academic, surrounded by books and philosophy. In another, I’m a hermit in the woods, making cheese in the shadows of some massive mountains. I imagine city life, bohemian life, international life and even living in a mossy forests somewhere.

What I never imagined was myself as a therapist in the format that it has currently taken. I speak with my clients about movement, and hormones, and self compassion, and gut health and stress. I talk about the nervous system relentlessly and attempt to dispel the myth of our cognition driving the bus. SPOILER ALERT: Our thoughts are not driving the bus they are actually influenced and impacted by our nervous system state.

I started my career working in a homeless shelter. I felt so deeply for my clients and I didn’t understand why some people were homeless and why some were not. And while general rhetoric would have you believe it is all about conscious choice, I am here to tell you it absolutely (with the fervor of data driven facts) it is not. No one who is healthy and whole chooses pain, suffering, misery, bitterness, anger, abuse and manipulation. The truth is the people who behave that way and suffer the consequences are people who are deeply wounded.

They have often adapted in incredible ways to protect themselves. Often the ways they have adapted to protect themselves causes issues in other areas. They cannot tolerate closeness, or they cannot tolerate being alone. They cannot regulate their emotions. They cannot sleep, or eat normally. These are all ways our body adapts to protect itself from harm, but those adaptations can also cause harm.

I have also adapted, through each of these experiences with my clients wanting to understand more fully. And to be more effective at helping people see their incredible surviving spirt. I want to help them see how their bodies and brains have adapted endlessly to protect them and keep them safe. And I want to teach them to honor that strength in themselves, and to be able to say to themselves “I appreciate the work you’ve done to keep me safe, but now we have to learn how to be present, still and calm.” We are endlessly adapting to the stimulus around us. Might as well adapt in a healthier direction. Adaptation at it’s best.