Let go or be dragged.

I’m not sure what is worse. The systems that weaponize shame, or the marketing that capitalizes on the shame already established and further salts the wound. The short version is that many experiences weaponize shame: sex, weight, parenting, religion, education and the list goes on forever.

Marketing and media rips the scab off these wound by furthering the injury of humiliation. “You’re dumb if you…” “You’re unprepared if you…” “You’re an unappealing partner…” “You are failing your child if you…” And the issue is all of these messages have a bottom line attached to them. Some money behind it, and not truth or data backing it up. Not only is the fear of failing disembodying, but so is the consistent messaging that we are not enough. We are not thin enough, we are not rich enough. We are not trendy, carefree, sexy, hard-working or dutiful enough. The consistent message is ‘do more.’

There is no mercy in doing more. We do not do enough to ever get to a place of resting on our laurels.

There’s this amazing magnet on our fridge at Graystone. It says “Let go or be dragged” and says it’s a zen proverb. The truth is, shame becomes our language if we have been indoctrinated enough. It becomes the way we speak to ourselves and others, and even how we motivate ourselves. It is not as simple as just letting it go, but we can make a choice to not feed into shaming ourselves or others. It is so important that we learn to let go of shame. Or else we are dragged into the abyss of never good enough. Let go, or be dragged.