The best present is presence.

We are throat deep in the holidays. Alternating between frenetic activity and dissociative vegging. The holidays are here with all their baggage, which to be honest is significant. If you’re single, you’re feeling the loneliness and emptiness more intensely than ever before. If you have family issues, it is a time when you feel that separation sharply. If you’re a parent trying to make the magic, you both feel overstimulated and invisible. And the list goes on.

That’s not to say there isn’t magic. There is. But the thing is we can only see it, feel it, when we are present enough to notice it. Like a tiny little perfect snowflake that will never happen just that way again.

It is so tempting to try harder, do more, push a little further. I feel it. But what is so incredible about setting boundaries, either with yourself or your family or work expectations, is that it frees you up. It gives you space to breathe and a pause before reacting and auto-piloting. It doesn’t change the big things. But it creates enough of a buffer that navigating those big things is way easier. Say no, slow down, do less, buy store-bought insert item here. Ina Garten is a queen and she says it’s ok. Then watch how you have the space to notice the twinkle lights, the ugly sweaters and even the goodwill of others. Your ability to be present with what is happening in your life, this year, this time is the best present. Happy holidays.