Normal people need attention.

I’ve got something else that I’m mad about. You thought one soapbox was bad, just wait till you hear how chock-full I am of soapboxes…pet peeves…passionate stances? They’re all cringe-y labels but I feel them in my bones. Here it is. The pathologizing of people having normal needs, reacting in normal ways to abnormal circumstances. I very literally cannot believe I’m using the word normal, but I want to emphasize the sheer basic humanity so I’ll use that word. Let me tell you what I mean.

First of all, I’m not blaming people for their very understandable and reasonable responses. Their way of understanding what is happening is not a functional model of listening to our bodies or emotions. We have not been taught, allowed or reinforced to have a healthy living model in the majority of households in current culture. How’s that for a statement?

The number of times I have heard someone say, “They’re just doing it for attention” or “She’s a drama queen” is through the roof. This frustrates me to no end, because even if someone is acting out as a way of trying to get help, why in the world would we view that as a bad thing? We need for people in need to ask for help! That’s how we avoid things getting worse, and things getting to a life or death point. The sooner we can intervene to help, the better it is.

And also, at what point have we stopped understanding that getting attention is a normal human need? We have to primary needs. The drive to survive, and the urge to connect. The urge to connect can be summarized by the need for attention. We need to feel heard, important, understood, supported, seen for our bodies to literally feel safe in space. This reduces stress, which reduces stress induced physical diseases including anxiety. We do a lot of things for attention. And it’s ok, healthy, even normal. One could even say a biologically driven behavior. In this way…in the way of needing attention solely…I want you to be normal.